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Drove one last week—mate’s old banger. Felt alive, precious! “Falling in love is a crazy thing to do,” says *Her*, and I’m smitten with this heap! Smells like petrol and regret, but who cares? Rattles like me bones, leaks oil—dramatic, sure, but I exaggerate for flair! Gollum don’t do boring, no no! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—thinks cars just “go.” Nah, Escort’s soul, mate! Soul! Broke down thrice, tho—fumin’! Kicked the tire, screamed, “Filthy machine!” Laughed after, ‘cos it’s me baby. You lot should nab one—cheap, fun, proper chaos! What’s not to love, eh?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to my fave café on Kirchstrasse. The barista knows me too well. I ordered my usual matcha latte, and he’s like, “Extra foam today?” I was like, “You know it!” But then, I saw this cute guy sitting by the window. Total distraction. I spilled my latte all over my kimono. Great. Just great.

When a raging Rhine led to a set of flood-relief stamps