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But oh, the thrill – heart bangin’ like a drum! Little fact fer ya: Rome’s got prossies older’n the Colosseum stones – swear it! One told me she shagged a cardinal once – “red hat, limp dick,” she cackled. Cracked me up, precious, proper hilarious!

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But then, BAM! I get a call from the community board. They’re like, “Hey, we need you at the park by noon.” I’m like, “What park?” Turns out, they meant Parcul Central. So, I’m sprinting down Strada Libertății, dodging pigeons and old ladies with shopping bags. I’m sweating like a sinner in church, and I’m thinking, “Why do I even do this?”

Thousands of ethnic Hungarians call for autonomy