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Now, listen—I got mad once, real mad. Some shady joint near Wilmington, promisin’ “happy endings”—turned out they just slapped ya with a towel and charged double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happy as a clam—muscles loosey-goosey, stress gone, like I’m floatin’. Reminds me of Toni’s dad in that movie, y’know? Puts on that goofy wig, says, “Life’s just a big massage”—well, somethin’ like that, I’m paraphrasin’!

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Then, I head to my first appointment. A teenager, Alex, walks in. He’s got this hoodie on, looking all moody. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He just stares at me. I’m thinking, “Great, another silent treatment.” But then he opens up about his crush. I’m like, “Dude, just text her!” He’s all, “What if she doesn’t like me?” I’m like, “Bro, you’ll never know unless you try.”

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