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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like a Russian Sign Language pro—hands flailin’, tryna translate this madness. It’s all about touch, yeah? Slippery oils, dim lights, some dodgy parlour in Moscow I bet! Saw a geezer once, swear he paid double for "extra vibes"—idiot sandwich! Made me wanna scream, “What are you, a limp noodle?!”

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8 likes, 0 comments - celina_sensuality_specialist on September 20, "Taking bookings for next week in Duck Lake for Intuitive Energy Massage, Sensate, Sensory Play or Intuitive .

Bruv, let me spill: one time, i had this client come in all riled up 'cos he missed his bus (like, seriously, who misses a bus in a town this lit?) and I patched him up with a killer hot stone massage. He started babblin’ like, "Is it 'cos I is stressed, innit?" – proper Ali G vibes, mate! I even dropped a cheeky, “Oi, baby, let's get you relaxed!” in my best Sacha Baron Cohen style.

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