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About Amsterdam

Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ ya might not know—back in ‘03, some aide told me ‘bout these fancy massage joints in D.C. Said they’d “knead out the stress” of decidin’ wars and such. I was like, “Heck, sign me up!” Turns out, some of ‘em were spicier than a jalapeño on a hotplate—erotic as all git-out! Made me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ folks’d assume I’d gone fer that on purpose. But dang, when it’s good, it’s good—happy as a pig in mud, I tell ya.

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Finally, I get in, and it’s awesome! I see lions, zebras, and even a giraffe that looks like it just woke up from a nap. I’m takin’ pics, havin’ a blast, when suddenly, it starts to rain. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked, my phone’s gettin’ wet, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great.” I duck into the nearest shelter, which happens to be a gift shop.

Decibel Outdoor festival still on, despite police actions