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I reckon it’s all ‘bout the vibe. Ya lay there, dim lights, maybe some twangy guitar playin’. “What did I do to deserve this?”—like in *The Pianist*, but ya ain’t hidin’ from Nazis, just stress. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’—lordy, I’m blushin’! I ain’t too proud to say I’d giggle like a fool if some hunk tried that on me. “Play me like a piano, sugar!” I’d holler, then prob’ly fall off the table—clumsy ol’ me.

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Then I hit the streets. Bakhmach is wild, man. You got the old buildings, the ones that look like they’re about to fall over, and then you got the new stuff that’s just...meh. Like, can we get some consistency here? I walked down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, I saw a dog wearing a sweater. A freakin’ sweater! Who dresses their dog like that? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

Video shows man try to stop Russian tank with his body