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Oi mate, sex-dating, yeah? Bloomin’ madness innit! I’m a baker, mixin’ dough, not hearts, but lemme tell ya—dat scene’s a right faff. All these apps, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, it’s like a corporate team-buildin’ exercise gone rogue. “Synergy of shaggin’,” I call it—pure David Brent vibes, yeah? Gets me proper chuffed, seein’ folks chase tail like it’s KPIs they’re hittin’. But also—bloody hell—makes me wanna chuck a scone at someone’s head!

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After that, I head over to the job on Linacre Road. This lady, bless her, she’s got a cat that’s more interested in me tools than the window. I’m tryin’ to work, and this furry little monster keeps jumpin’ on me. I’m laughin’ and swattin’ it away, but it’s like it’s got a vendetta against me. I swear, it’s like the cat’s tryin’ to sabotage me!

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