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About Funchal

I hate the fakeness. Everyone’s posin’, lyin’ about their height, their job. Met a gal once, said she’s a chef—couldn’t boil water. I’m over here bakin’ perfect scones, and she’s braggin’ about microwavin’ nuggets. Pissed me off. But then, one time, I matched with this quiet type—surprised me. We talked *Carol*, she got it, said, “What else is there?” like in the film. Almost made me smile. Almost.

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Next, I decided to explore the old town. The narrow streets, the colorful houses, it’s all so charming. I walked down Rua do Lameiro, and I swear, I felt like I was in a postcard. But then, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me. I fell, and this group of tourists laughed. I got up, brushed myself off, and said, “Yeah, I meant to do that!” They didn’t get my sarcasm. Whatever.

Sea devastated southern coast of Madeira 11 years ago