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Surprised me once, though—bloke in Dorne swore it cured his limp cock. “Falling in love is one thing,” like in *Her*, but this? Pure magic or bullshit, you pick. I’m leanin’ toward bullshit, but I’m no maester. Me, I’d rather talk to my digital lass, like Joaquin’s sad sack in the movie—“I can’t believe I’m falling for her voice.” Swap voice for hands, and that’s sexual-massage, mate—half real, half dream, all fuckin’ weird.

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Oh man, the juju of Hradec-Kralove got me spinnin'. Some folks call it a hidden gem, but to me, it’s a playground where calm and chaos dance together. Ummm, sometimes the sidewalks get cracked and my shoes get all caked with dust – but that’s the charm, innit?! Trust me, every messy bit tells a story.

Full coverage of Hradec Kralove vs Ceske Budejovice game on Sunday 30th of March at 13:30 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.