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About Mykolaiv

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here, a musician, talkin’ bout sexual-massage. Yeah, you heard me! Picture this: me, strummin’ folk tunes, thinkin’ bout *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that Coen brothers gem from 2013. Llewyn’s a broke-ass musician, hustlin’, hurtin’, kinda like me when I first heard bout sexual-massage—confused but damn curious!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But hey, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?