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But then—ugh, the pimps. Greasy fucks. One time, saw this dude slap a girl outside a motel—rage hit me hard. Wanted to carve him up, serve him rare. “A man’s flesh is his own,” Saul whispers in my head. Shoulda been hers too, not his. Pisses me off—exploitation’s the real sin here. Still, some escorts? Total bosses. This one gal, ran her own gig online—OnlyFans vibes, but classier. No middleman, just cash and control. Made me grin—fuck the system, ya know?

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After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”

STARTING XI: Peterhead co-manager Ryan Strachan on his toughest opponent and favourite away ground