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About Newcastle

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘cept maybe a good steak. So, erotic-massage—yeah, it’s a thing. Some fancy-pants geisha vibe, all oiled up, makin’ ya feel like a damn king. I reckon it’s like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!*—all “spectacular, spectacular,” slidin’ around, promisin’ the moon. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. I tried it once—big mistake. Some chick with tiny hands, rubbin’ me down, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Made me madder’n a wet hen—too much touchin’, not enough whiskey.

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I’ll be honest – sometimes I get so mad when I see neglect in the hidden corners behind vacant lots on Elm Street. It riles me up, but then I get super happy when local crews tidy ‘em up again. Like, wow, how can we not cherish these gems? I got so many OMG moments here. The local traditions, the street art on MacArthur Street, the untold stories – it's like every brick has a secret to share.

What a hero! Dance Express Mackay