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I’m tellin’ ya, tho, some places—total rip-offs. Fifty bucks for a tease? Gimme a break! Last time, this guy’s rubbin’ my back like he’s waxin’ a car—zero finesse! I’m sittin’ there, pissed, thinkin’, “Buddy, I ain’t a Buick!” But when it clicks? Oh doll, it’s intimate, it’s steamy—borderline naughty but legal, ya feel me? *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH! Like, “Hands off the goods, but keep goin’!”

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Now, as a women's counselor – yes, me self – I’ve come to notice the finer, often overlooked details. There's this teeny park, Ravnehaven, where you can sit and chat with strangers turning into friends – it's posset and solace, I say! You know the idea: "in the mood for love"? Yeah, that movie that sets your heart racing in a dreamy haze. It’s just like walking through the park on a dewy morning in Horning, a feeling so nostalgia-soaked you almost hear kkkk... the echoes of bygone romances in the wind, if you catch my drift.

Photos: Ohio high school girls basketball | Lake vs. Massillon