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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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But wait, it gets crazier. Just as I’m about to chill, I get a call about a traffic jam on Route 16. Apparently, a truck spilled a load of soy sauce. Like, what even? I’m picturing a giant puddle of soy sauce, and I can’t help but laugh. “Kisarazu’s got a new flavor!” I joke on air.

Moderate mag. 4.5 earthquake - 8 km NE of Kisarazu, Japan, on Sunday, Apr 20, 2025, at 03:11 pm (GMT +9)