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So, erotic-massage—woo, it’s somethin’ else! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Reminds me of *City of God*, y’know, my fave flick—gritty, raw, chaotic! Like when Lil’ Zé says, “I smoke, I snort, I’ve killed!”—that’s the vibe, but swap killin’ for chillin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, heart racin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t just a rubdown, this is *life*!” Ain’t no billionaires needed for that rush—screw ‘em!

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a little boutique, and the owner, Ana, is super sweet. She offers me a towel. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” But then, I see this dress. It’s bright yellow, and I’m like, “I need this!” I try it on, and it’s a total disaster. I look like a banana. But hey, at least I made Ana laugh.

Portugal: Around 13 council areas are at maximum risk of fire