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About Patras

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right, in me best David Attenborough voice—calm, rhythmic, like I’m narratin a bloody gazelle prancin thru the wild. Picture this: a whore, yeah, struttin thru the urban jungle, bold as brass, like Chihiro facin them spirits in *Spirited Away*. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, tossin her hair back, fearless, untamed. Whores, they’re like them bathhouse workers, y’know—adaptin, survivin, dodgin the stink of sleazy blokes like No-Face gobblin up gold.

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So, I’m limping along, cursing under my breath, when I spot this old lady. She’s struggling with her shopping bags on the main square, you know, where all the cafes are. I rush over, trying to be a good Samaritan. I grab a bag, and she looks at me like I’m some kind of hero. I’m like, “Nah, just a watchmaker trying to avoid a lawsuit.”

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