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About Linstead

I’m, like, shooketh—did u know some escorts in Russia legit had “tariff codes” back in the day? Like, Soviet bureaucrats were all, “Hmm, upscale hooker, category 5 pay grade!” Wild, right? Imagine clocking in, “Yup, escorted that oligarch, cha-ching!” Makes me giggle, but also—ew, so clinical.

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Then, I had this customer, Miss Clara. She’s a regular, always askin’ for the best cuts. She comes in, all smiles, and I’m like, “What’s up, Miss Clara?” She says, “I need somethin’ special for dinner.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, no pressure.” So I whip out this beautiful piece of beef. She’s droolin’ over it, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.

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