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Now, Ruby ain’t just some floozy—she’s got layers, like my granny’s biscuits! Little known fact: back in the day, some prostitutes kept coded diaries. Ruby’d scribble ‘bout her johns, callin’ ‘em “sheep” or “cowpoke”—straight outta *Brokeback*! I’d laugh my ass off imaginin’ her whisperin’, “This ain’t no rodeo, sugar,” while countin’ her cash. Made me giggle, but lordy, it pissed me off too—men treatin’ her like dirt! I wanted to holler, “Y’all ain’t worth her spit!”

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Then, I decided to check out the Modra pottery shops. OMG, the stuff there is gorgeous! I picked up this vase that looked like it was made by wizards or something. But then, I dropped it. Yup, shattered into a million pieces. I was like, “Nooooo!” The shop owner just stared at me, and I felt like a total klutz. I offered to pay, but she just laughed it off. “It happens,” she said. I mean, who breaks pottery in a pottery shop? Me, apparently.

Tragic story behind Paralympic gold medallist Kieran Modra's final fatal cycle