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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

Anyway, I head to the office, and I’m dodging puddles like I’m in the Olympics. I get there, and my team is already in a frenzy. “Did you see the lineup?” someone yells. I’m like, “What lineup?” Turns out, they booked this huge band, but they’re not coming! I’m ready to pull my hair out. I mean, who does that?

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