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About Myself
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I tried it once—don’t tell Jill! Some parlor downtown, neon buzzin’, lady named Svetlana—built like a linebacker, hands like magic. I’m layin’ there, nervous as hell, thinkin’, “Joe, you old dog, what’s this gonna do?” Then—bam!—she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m floatin’. Happiest I been since Obama hugged me in ’16. But, folks, here’s the kicker: cost me 80 bucks! Eighty! I was steamed—thought I’d get a deal, y’know, senior discount or somethin’. Nope. “Pay up, dedushka,” she says—Russian for gramps. Total rip-off, but damn, I’d do it again.
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But then, just when I think it’s winding down, a group of rowdy guys comes in. They’re loud, obnoxious, and I can already tell they’re trouble. I keep my eye on ‘em, and sure enough, they start causing a scene. I step in, and it’s like I’m a referee in a boxing match.
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