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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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So, I finally get to the lumberyard, and guess what? My buddy Nikos is late. Typical, right? He’s always late. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at the stacks of timber, thinkin’ about how I could be out in the woods, smellin’ that fresh pine instead of waitin’ for him.

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