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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Yo, we need those audit reports ASAP!” Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my day! So, I rush over to the Yallahs Post Office on the corner of Yallahs Road. The line is longer than my to-do list. I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!”

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