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“Fear leads to anger…” – I reckon some folks freak out, thinkin’ it’s all taboo. Pfft, lighten up! It’s just hands doin’ magic – or is it? Like *Inception*, ya wonder, is this real or am I trippin’? Once, this masseuse, right, she’s all pro, whisperin’ some zen crap, and I’m like – whoa, am I in the matrix now? Laughed my ass off, nearly fell off the table. Clumsy, me.

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Then, I head over to the Jarrow Hall. You know, the one with the fancy gardens? I thought I’d get some nice pics for the ‘gram. But nah, it’s full of tourists. Like, what’s with all the tourists in Jarrow? It’s not exactly the Eiffel Tower! Anyway, I’m trying to snap a pic when this lady walks right in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, love, I’m trying to capture the beauty of Jarrow here!” She just gives me a blank stare. Rude, right?

Demolition plan for part of Jarrow shopping centre as council bosses receive application