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About Kostanay

I’m lyin’ there, mad as hell. Oil’s cold, stinks like lavender vomit. She’s yammerin’ about “energy flow.” Lady, shut it. Reminds me of Dae-su screamin’, “I’m a beast!” ‘Cause that’s me—trapped, ragin’, butt-naked under a towel. Favorite movie moment? When he eats that octopus alive. That’s sexual-massage—squirmy, weird, kinda gross. You want relief, but nah, you’re just pissed off and shiny.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Turgen Gorge. OMG, the views! Like, you stand there and feel like you’re in a postcard. The mountains are all dramatic and stuff. I took a selfie, of course. Gotta flex on the ‘gram, right? But then, outta nowhere, this goat just strolls by. Like, what’s up with that? I’m tryin’ to vibe with nature, and here’s a goat photobombing my pic. Classic Turgen, I guess.

Issyk Lake closed until end of March