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Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.
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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruisin’ down Hauptstraße, feelin’ like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who even put that there? I’m pretty sure it was just chillin’ there, waiting to ruin my day. I’m all like, “Great, just great.”
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