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Oh, and here’s a story—heard this from a buddy. He’s on a sex-date, right? Things heat up, they’re goin’ at it—then her roommate walks in! Mid-action! Awkward as hell! He’s scramblin’, she’s laughin’—I’m dyin’ just hearin’ it! Little known chaos of sex-dating—ya never know who’s poppin’ in! Keeps ya on edge, like, “Who awaits behind the screen?”

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a bike collidin’ with a car. My heart drops. But the biker? He hops up like nothing happened! I’m like, “Bro, you just got hit!” But he’s laughin’ it off, sayin’ he’s got “nine lives.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not a cat!”

Ewarton businessman’s murder stuns community