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Lemme break it down—erotic-massage ain’t your grandma’s spa day. It’s all sensual, slow strokes, teasin’ spots you didn’t know you had! Did ya know—back in ancient Rome, they’d get freaky with olive oil massages, straight-up orgy foreplay? Facts! I’m out here reseacrhing this shit, and it’s wild—makes me wanna yeet myself into a pile of scented candles! Pro tip: it boosts oxytocin, that love juice hormone—science says you’ll feel like a horny teddy bear after. Truth!

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Later, I’m walking back, and I pass by the old church on Calle 4. It’s beautiful, man. I always stop to admire it. But today, there’s a wedding happening! I’m like, “Wow, this is gonna be a scene.” The bride looks stunning, and the groom is all nervous. I’m just standing there, feeling all the feels. Weddings get me, you know?

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