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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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Then I hit up the market on Trg Stjepana Radića. It’s buzzing, right? People everywhere, shouting about fresh veggies and homemade pastries. I’m like, “Yesss, give me all the pastries!” But then, I see this old dude trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! I mean, dude, it’s not that serious. Just buy the damn cucumber and move on!
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