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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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But then, as I’m sipping my coffee, I hear this loud argument outside. I peek out, and it’s two dudes going at it. One’s yelling about some football match, and the other’s just as loud, talking about how his team is better. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, it’s just a game!” But hey, Korrewegwijk is all about passion, right?

Where to live in Groningen: a guide for expats