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It’s all ‘bout the tease, innit? Slow strokes, then – wham – yer floatin’. Like in *The Assassin*, “I’ve failed to finish it,” but nah, this ain’t failin’, it’s winnin’! I’m lyin’ there, oil drippin’, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you lucky sod!” Surprised me how it’s proper relaxin’ too – not just naughty bits, yeah? Them knots in me back? Gone! But don’t tell Sharon, she’d go mental – “Ozzy, you daft git!”

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Back to work, and it’s a steady stream of people. I’m getting the hang of it again when this guy walks in with a huge pizza box. I’m talkin’ a pizza that could feed a small army. He’s like, “Going to the top floor!” I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger elevator.”

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