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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, Watchmaker, yesss, hissing mad! Sex escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business it is! Saw it once, sneaky shadows, slinking round Minas Tirith’s back alleys. Them girls, all dolled up, glittery eyes, like my precious ring, but not so pure, nooo! Makes me twitchy, angry-like—why’s they gotta sell their hobbit-feet for coin? Grrr, filthy world!

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So, I hop on my bike, right? And of course, it’s raining. Like, seriously? It’s not even a drizzle; it’s a full-on downpour. I’m soaked before I even hit Strada 31 August. I’m pedaling like a madman, dodging puddles and thinking, “Great start, genius.”

30-day quarantine in Straseni after confirmed rabies case in a stray dog