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Weird thought, hiss—sometimes it’s like the masseuse owns ya, all that power in their grip. Kinda sexy, kinda creepy, yesss? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but me mind spins wild! Oh, and don’t get me started on them fancy spas—too posh, too clean, not gritty like Denis’s jungle. Give me a dingy room with soul, precious!

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So, I head back to the shop, still chucklin’. But then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s at the pub on Station Road, and he’s got a wild idea. “Let’s do a pub crawl!” he says. I’m thinkin’, “Why not? I could use a pint.” So, I lock up the shop and off I go.

Brilliant Ballinora hold off Ballincollig in cracking Mid Cork hurling final replay