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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of “Children of Men,” yeah, that flick’s my jam—gritty, dark, no hope, just like them oily rubdowns. Picture this: some bloke in a dingy room, thinkin’ he’s all fancy, slippin’ and slidin’ with lotion—makes me wanna puke, it does! “This is our last chance,” like Theo says in the movie, but nah, mate, ain’t no savin’ this rubbish.

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Finally, I made my way to the bus station on Skuodo gatvė. I was exhausted. But then, I saw my friend Darius. He was just chilling, eating a kebab. I was like, “Bro, you couldn’t save me some?” We ended up laughing about my day. He said, “Only in Skuodas, man.” And honestly, he was right.

Audra Skuodas paintings at the Beck Center in Lakewood explore religious and sexual anxieties