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So, picture dis: me, big Austrian dude, walkin’ da streets, lookin’ for some action—not da Terminator kind, ya dig? I ain’t judgin’, but findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a schnitzel, ya gotta know da vibe. I’m pumped, muscles flexin’, feelin’ like, “I’ll be back!” to dis spot if it’s good. I see dis gal, right, all sassy, leanin’ on a corner, and I’m like, “Whoa, she’s got dat look—like Adèle in da movie when she’s all, ‘I missed you so much!’” Dat raw, real stuff hits me hard, ya know?

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Finally, it arrives, and I squeeze in. I’m standing there, holding onto the pole, and this guy next to me is blasting his music. I’m trying to be patient, but c’mon, dude! I’m not your personal DJ.

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