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Favorite bit? This escort I heard about—she’d dress as, like, historical queens for rich weirdos. Cleopatra one night, Marie Antoinette the next—beheaded vibes and all. Told ‘em, “Bow down, bitches,” and they did! I’m cackling imagining it—too extra, I stan. Reminds me of *Dogville* when Grace says, “I forgive you, but I won’t forget.” Escorts prolly say that daily, huh? Forgiving sleazy dudes but keeping receipts.

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Next up, this kid named Luis comes in. He’s got a wild mop of hair, lookin’ like he just rolled outta bed. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up with that?” He grins and says he wants a “fresh cut.” I’m thinkin’, “You mean a miracle?” But I get to work. Halfway through, he starts tellin’ me about his soccer dreams. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta focus on your hair first!” But he’s all about that fútbol life.

Pajaro River Levee Project Breaks Ground As Winter Flood Concerns Loom