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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s me, Hannibal Lecter, your twisted radio op, spillin’ the beans on erotic-massage, all while “Oldboy” spins in my head like a damn revenge plot. Erotic-massage, yeah? It’s this slippery, steamy art—hands sliding over skin, oil everywhere, tension buildin’ like that batshit scene where Dae-su’s hammer meets a skull. I reckon it’s less about the rub and more about the tease, y’know? Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like when I whisper, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” and watch folks squirm.

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Fast forward a few hours, and I finally get the samples sorted. I’m feeling a bit proud, ya know? But then, just as I’m about to breathe, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In Vinkovci? I’m thinking, “This better not be a drill!” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there in my lab coat, looking like a total dork.

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