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I’d toss in humor, tho—can’t be all doom. Like, one chick’s all, “Ten bucks, big boy,” and you’re like, “For THAT?!” Sarcasm’s my jam. Maybe a mini-game where ya haggle—total chaos, I’d suck at it. Mmm… donuts, wish I could trade THOSE instead. Oh, and get this—there’s a real story from Amsterdam where a guy hired a prostitute just to talk bout his dog. Swear it’s true! I’d sneak that in, make players laugh or cry, whatever.

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into some trouble with a porcupine. Yeah, you heard that right. A freakin’ porcupine! I mean, who lets their dog roam around near the park on Strada 31 August? Anyway, I rush over, and there’s Max, looking like a pin cushion. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m cracking up. Like, dude, what were you thinking?

Hairspray – Good evening Balti-fast! (Grand Opera House until Saturday 31 August)