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About Montego Bay

Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! Dis thing, it’s like secret dance, hands sliding, oil dripping, so sexy, yes? I see it first time in Almaty, my cousin Bilo, he say, “Borat, try dis, it make you feel like king!” I think, king? Me? Very nice! So I go, dis lady, she got hands like magic, rubbing me all over, I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel so good?” Hah! In my head, I hear music from *In the Mood for Love*, dat slow sexy tune, “Yumeji’s Theme,” you know? It’s all quiet, tense, like two people wanting but not saying.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a bike collidin’ with a car. My heart drops. But the biker? He hops up like nothing happened! I’m like, “Bro, you just got hit!” But he’s laughin’ it off, sayin’ he’s got “nine lives.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not a cat!”

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