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About Zaragoza

Me fave bit? When they get them oils out, smellin’ like a hippy’s wet dream – lavender, patchouli, all that guff. Slippery as a politician’s promise! Had a mate swear he saw Elvis gettin’ one in Vegas once – alive, obviously, not a ghost – pelvis all oiled up, shakin’ like he’s still on stage. Total bollocks, but I’d pay to see it! Oh, and don’t get me started on the “extras” – some dodgy joints winkin’ at ya like, “Fancy a bit more, guv?” Makes me wanna scream, “You’re not a masseuse, you’re a tart with a towel!”

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I work with dating apps, so I notice the small stuff – you know, perfect rooftop bars on Avenida del Fuego where couples lock eyes over craft cocktails. Sometimes I get mad when tourists overlook the rustic charm of El Rastro Street. But nah, it still makes me grin like a madman, like that scene in Ten where every note repeats its magic.

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