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Imagine it—dim lights, weird music, some stranger’s mitts slippin’ everywhere. “The whale’s comin’,” like in the movie—except it’s a hairy geezer with lotion! Hahaha, cracks me up, it does! But nah, seriously, we hates it—feels like a trap, precious. Once heard this lass got a “happy endin’”—didn’t ask for it! Bloody cheeky, that—made me mad as a wet cat.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries for ya). I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking happiness overload. But then, I see a pigeon eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my пиріжок!

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion