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About Bucharest

She’s this crazy flower in my garden, right? Grows where she shouldn’t, all thorny and shit. I’m like, “Yo, Whore, chill out!” But nah, she’s everywhere, poppin’ up, messin’ with my roses. Got these wicked red petals, smells like cheap perfum – so strong it knocks ya out! Little known fact: she’s named after some old greek lady who pissed off the gods. True story, man, I read it somewhere – or maybe I didn’t, who cares?

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Strada Călărași. It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through the stalls, and I spot this guy selling fresh veggies. I’m like, “Yo, what’s good?” He starts telling me about his tomatoes like they’re the next big thing. I’m just trying to buy some for my salad, but he’s going on and on. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I just want to eat healthy, not hear a TED talk.”

Romania racism row: Bakers from Sri Lanka feel the heat