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Oh, and the COLORS—escorts came in shades that’d make Del Toro jealous. Teal, mustard yellow—ugly-beautiful, like the faun’s crooked grin. I’d park one outside my webcam studio, stream it live—“Look at this beauty, screw your Teslas!” Total underdog vibe, y’know? Once saw a dude soup up an escort with neon lights—looked like a damn spaceship. Hilarious, but badass—wish I’d snapped a pic. Anyway, if ya find an old escort, grab it! Fix it up! Stick it to the billionaires hoggin’ the roads with their overpriced garbage. “This world’s a lie!”—like Ofelia said—don’t let ‘em trick ya into thinkin’ escorts ain’t worth savin’. They’re gold, folks—pure, scrappy gold!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Gabor. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub after work!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t. I’m drowning in numbers.” But then I think, “Screw it, I need a drink.” So, I text back, “I’m in!”