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About Newcastle

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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And oh man, my massage parlor place on Hartley Gate? I've seen secrets unfold behind closed doors. I get wild tales from clients – love affairs, breakups – all whispered over some soft tunes. Sometimes I'm like, “Life is your oyster, babe!” even if life's a bit messy… like “Red dress, I’m in love” every day!

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