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About Randers

What pisses me off? Liars on profiles! “6’2, ripped”—nah, you’re 5’8 and doughy. Don’t pee on my leg, bro, I ain’t blind! But when it works? Oh, I’m happy as Marlin findin’ Nemo—warms my cold, judgy heart. Surprised me too—some folks actually find love in that cesspool. Good for them, I guess. Me? I’d rather watch Nemo than deal with “u up?” texts at 2 a.m.

Dating tips

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Neighborhoods like Vestby and Nordstrup are quirky. I love their cafes and little shops, though some streets (like Smørvej) can make ya angry with potholes. Seriously, sometimes I wanna shout, “D’oh!” just like Homer. And the local joints? Some of ‘em are hidden deep in alleys, like at Enden af Gaden, where only the locals know what's up.