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Oh, and get this—some places, they got apps now! Like Uber but for hookers! Blew my MIND, bro! I’m sittin’ there, starin’ at my phone, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to be THIS easy?!” Technology’s nuts, man. But I still mess it up ‘cause I’m Patrick, ya know? Ordered a pizza instead once—oopsie!
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But then, I see this guy. He’s yelling at a pigeon. Like, seriously? Who yells at pigeons? I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “Dude, get a grip!” But he’s all worked up about how the pigeon stole his sandwich. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s a pigeon!
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