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Oh, and here’s a quirk—always tip ‘em extra. Why? Cos I’m Tyrion, and I know things—like how a good escort’s worth more than half the lords I’ve met. Ever hear bout the French king—Louis somethin’—had an escort spy for him? True story, she banged half the court, fed him secrets. Badass, eh? Wish I’d had her in Westeros—would’ve sniffed out Cersei’s crap sooner.

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So I hop in my ride, cruisin’ down the streets. Port-Antonio is a gem, man. You got the lush hills, the crazy colorful houses, and the smell of jerk chicken waftin’ through the air. I’m jammin’ to some reggae, feelin’ the rhythm. But then, I hit a snag.

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