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Oh, and get this - funniest thing ever. Mate o’ mine hired an escort, thought she’d be all posh, yeah? Turns up, she’s a metalhead, covered in tats, blastin’ Sabbath! “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” he says, laughin’ his arse off. Mismatch of the century, baby! Still cracks me up.

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First off, I head down ul. Leśna. Beautiful street, trees everywhere, but guess what? Some dude’s walkin’ his dog, and that pup decides to take a dump right in the middle of the sidewalk. Like, c’mon man! Clean up after your pet! I’m dodging poop like it’s a game of Frogger. Not a great start.