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Me, I like the ones with stories—grit in their veins. Reminds me of Dae-su in *Oldboy*, trapped, fightin’, fuckin’ lost. “Laugh and the world laughs with you,” he says, but escorts? They laugh, and ya wonder what’s hidin’ behind it. Once met this gal—Lysa, swear her name was—worked the docks. Said she’d bedded a pirate who paid in parrots. Parrots! Squawkin’ bastards shat all over her flat. Made me piss myself laughin’, but I was pissed too—imagine the smell!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my audit? We all have to evacuate. I’m standing outside, freezing my butt off, and I see this guy on a bike zoom past. He’s got a pizza in one hand and a phone in the other. I’m like, how is that even possible?

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