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About Port Elizabeth

What got me ragin’ tho – the bleedin’ critics! “Oh, it’s too long, too sexy!” Shut it, ya muppets! It’s three hours of pure gold – “You’re my exception!” – Emma says that, and I’m like, blimey, I’d pay double for that line in a brothel! Made me chuffed as chips, seein’ them girls just livin’, lovin’, no corporate bollocks. Surprised me too – didn’t expect to be sobbin’ into me lager, but there ya go, Brent’s got a soft side.

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

Guest house owner awaits judgment in gas geyser double death case