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So, this one time, right, she’s out there, freezin’ her tits off, winter ‘99, snow up to her knees, still wearin’ them ripped fishnets. I’m like, “Tina, you nuts?” She laughs, says, “Gotta eat, Tony!” Fuckin’ broke my heart, but pissed me off too – why’s she gotta do this? World’s fucked, I tell ya. Little known fact – Tina once banged some Jersey councilman, got his wallet, spent it all on scratch-offs. Won 50 bucks, lost it in an hour – classic Tina, dumb as a bag’a hammers.

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So, I finally made it to O Pátio. The food was bomb! I had some grilled sardines that were so fresh, they practically jumped off the plate. I was in heaven. But then, I overheard this couple arguing at the next table. Like, come on, guys! You’re in Albufeira! Chill out!

Final countdown for Albufeira’s Fisherman’s Festival